It turns out parents do have a say.

If you think that recommendation writers are only teachers, coaches, or mentors, think again. The new college-application recommendation writer? Parents.  

So students and parents, it's time to get along.

According to the St. Paul Pioneer Press (4/16/08), colleges are increasingly asking for parents to provide input regarding their students. Colleges like Centre College in Danville, Kentucky and Hobart and William Smith Colleges in Geneva, New York provide forms for elective participation from applicants' parents. 

Now while this is an increasing trend, it's important to let you know that it is by no means the norm. There's a lot of debate over whether parental recommendations are a good thing or not. Critics claim that these recommendations are not only biased, but put "applicants from single-parent, low-income, first-generation American, first-generation college and international families" (Pioneer Press) at a disadvantage. In addition, one student said she was "embarrassed" when she read what her mother wrote and sent to her desired college.

Proponents, however, claim that the letters give admission committees a more complete perspective, allowing them a chance to see the applicant in the eyes of a parent. The letters help the process become more personal and well-rounded. It is important to add that this portion of the application is not weighted in any way toward a final "accept or reject" decision, but it would be "naive to say that they don't influence [committees] one way or another" (Pioneer Press).

So what's a kid (or parent) to do?

• Lay some ground rules. Discuss what is on and off limits in the letter. Certainly, its OK to talk about achievements and overcoming hardships, but the line is crossed when you start talking about "how proud you were of Suzie when she was finally potty-trained!"
• Try to give both praise and constructive criticism in the letter. As a parent, you want to portray your child in the best light, and this advice may seem contradictory to your nature. However, studies show that recommendations that include some weaknesses about the student are received as more authentic and valuable by application committees.
• Take it in stride.  Application time is stressful enough without adding fuel to the fire. Be open and communicate with one another--discuss how the recommendation will fit in to the entire application. Can it explain the semester of low grades? Expose a hidden talent? In reality, these letters can be a positive addition to the overall application.

The bottom line? This type of recommendation is not going away, so it's best to take advantage and make it work in your favor!